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Michael 84

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone With A Woman You Fancy

Monday, 25th April, 2016

How To Get Out Of The Friendzone - A Guide For Men

The friend zone, what a place to be. What can I say about the friend zone? It’s not a place you want to visit too often that’s for sure, but if you happen to not be a douche and you’re actually a nice guy, it’s a place which you can find yourself in a fair bit.

What Is The Friend Zone?

If you don’t know what the friend zone is, it’s quite easy to explain. The friend zone is all about when a girl (who you probably like more than a friend) decides that she doesn’t find you sexually attractive, she doesn’t fancy you, and basically labels you as just a friend.

Also known as friend-zoned, she may say things like “I like him as a friend”, or “I love him like a little brother”. Welcome to the friend zone!

Entering The Friend Zone

The friend zone can be entered in a few different ways. You may have just met a girl, and she instantly likes you, but only see’s you as a buddy. If she’s friendzoned you from the get-go then you’re likely to be in there for all of eternity.

Then there’s the longer game, the girl you may go out with a few times. A few dates later, she decides that she likes you, but only as a friend, and you’re dateless and single once again.

To complicate this there’s another option, the female friend who you develop feelings for. You’re already in the friend zone, and are happy about it, but you’ve decided you want to move out of that place and take things to another level. Of course the pitfall for this is she may not feel the same, and you ruin your friendship.

Don't be like Will From The Inbetweeners, Agreeing To Every Demand From A Girl Who Just Wants To Be Friends

How Do You Know You’re In The Friend Zone?

She’s talking about other lads to you

She openly talks about other guys, liking other lads, fancying other men. This could be a tactic to get you jealous or envious, depending on what exactly she is saying, but be careful, if it sounds like she’s talking to you like one of her girlfriends, she probably is.

Talking Too Openly About Problems

If a girl likes a guy, she’ll want to keep a bit of mystery. If she’s telling you all her secrets and problems from the beginning, she’s probably seeing you as a friend.

What’s She Wearing

If you go out and you think it’s a date, if she’s dressed up then it could be. If she’s dressed far too casually for something which you’d expect her to dress up for, then she probably thinks she’s going out with a mate.

Always Doing What She Wants To Do (And You Agreeing!)

If you’re always doing what she wants to do and you’re agreeing. This is bad because not only are you a push-over of a friend, she’s treating you like a girlfriend. You may think that you’re an easy-going guy, but this is taking that to a new level.

Doing Favours or Being Asked To Do Favours

No…Not those kinds of favours! 😉 If you she’s asking you to go out of your way and you’re happy to do that, you’re probably in the friend zone. You’re helpful, but help yourself and stay away from the friend zone.

Don't Treat Her Like Your Mates

Avoiding Or Escaping The Friend Zone

Getting out of, or avoiding the friend zone completely can be a tough road to negotiate. You need to find the balance of being nice and caring, to avoid being too paly-paly and acting like one of her girlfriends.

There are a couple of tips you could employ when trying to avoid the friend zone with a girl, especially in a new relationship:

Don’t Treat Her The Same As Your Mates

Your mates are your mates, you can tell them anything and be open, sharing is caring and it doesn’t really matter what you tell them because they’re your mates. You don’t want a “one of the lads” if you want to stay out of the friend zone.

Don’t Overshare every detail

Keeping some of the mystique is key. You don’t want to lay it all out there on day 1, oversharing can be a killer.

Try And Be Romantic

Be Romantic And Flirty

If you’re out remember you aren’t just friends, you want to be more than that. It could be something small like holding hands, but girls notice every small detail. Be flirty, not something over the top, but not something to subtle either, a bit of touchy-feely is good. If it doesn’t work or feel right, then it’s not meant to be.

Confidence

Don’t act needy or desperate, even if you are! :mrgreen: It will kill off any confidence you should have which is attractive, and you’ll look desperate and the girl will either run off, or feel sorry for you, neither of which you’ll want.

Don’t Rush

You could say strike while the iron is hot or cease the moment, but you don’t need to be needy and in a rush for anything. In the beginning you’ll want to see her once or twice in a week, and as things go on, things could develop further.

Remember You Have A Life And Other Friends

So you’ve met a great girl have you? Fantastic! Just remember you have other friends too…You know, the ones who were there before the girl. Don’t neglect your friends. Not only will you look like you’re already whipped to them, to her you’ll look like a doormat. Make time for her, but 24/7 is a bit too much.

Go On Dates

Yes dates. That’s date-type stuff, only you and her without friends. Make sure she knows that it’s a date, and it feels date-ish.

If It Doesn’t Work Out, Leave

If you have feelings for a girl which are romantic ones do you want to be friends? Or more to the point, CAN you be friends? It will mean seeing her with some other guy, or guys, and you’ll probably have to hear about how terrible they are, or even worse, how great they are! 😀

Do you want to be the friend which is the shoulder to cry on? Cut the ties and go your separate ways.

Do you have any stories of being friendzoned, or have further advice?

Good luck at getting out of, or leaving The Friend Zone 🙂


Michael Adams

About Michael

Michael Adams is the founder and editor of Michael 84, blogger and T-shirt designer from Newcastle, UK. Sharing men's fashion tips, style advice and lifestyle information for all guys.

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